Should You Invite Estranged Relatives to Your Wedding?

 In Wedding etiquette, Wedding guests, Wedding Invitations

Wedding Guests estranged familyPlanning your wedding is a stressful time—even without family arguments. Your wedding guest list can ignite and unleash family drama. But if you decide to trim down your wedding guest list, you should start by examining toxic or estranged family members. Whether it’s your mother, uncle, or sibling, you’re probably racking your brain around if you should extend an invitation. After all, “blood is thicker than water,” right?

Naturally, every family has disagreements. But “toxic” relatives go far beyond a typical argument. For instance, you may feel anxious or nervous when you interact with them. Moreover, you may feel drained and overwhelmed when speaking with them. These family members are often addicted to drama, tend to overreact and create scenes in public.

Here’s what to do if you’re dealing with a problem relative you don’t want at your wedding.

Cutting Out Estranged Family Members from Your Wedding

Weddings have an odd way of unleashing and fueling family drama. When estranged family members are in attendance, the atmosphere can change in an instant. They may do or say something that makes others feel uncomfortable. You can always try talking with your relative one-on-one, but some relationships are beyond damaged, and no amount of negotiating or talking will fix it. As such, don’t invite anyone who will cause stress for you on your special day.

All your guests should be supportive, for the sake of your happiness. If any guest can’t behave for one day, you shouldn’t feel bad about uninviting them. If they agree to not make a fuss, then maybe it’d be okay to still invite them, but tread carefully. Before you make your final decision, try to reconcile. You’re more likely to improve the relationship.

Guest List Size Considerations

If you’re looking for a perfect opportunity to uninvite estranged or toxic family members, then consider your venue’s capacity, budgeting restrictions, and guest list size. For most couples, the perfect wedding guest list size allows you to invite all the Must-Have guests in your family, as well as your closest of friends who you want to share in your day. The number of wedding guests you have in attendance will influence where you can host your wedding ceremony and wedding reception. Most NJ venues have a set capacity for the number of guests that can be comfortably and safely entertained in each of their wedding ballrooms, celebration rooms, and garden wedding settings.

Avoid Sending Invites to These People

Uninviting someone from your wedding is something you should only consider as a last resort. However, these five types of people should never make your wedding guest lists.

  1. Unsupportive Relatives or Friends: Maybe, for example, your parents are homophobic and disapprove of you marrying your boyfriend. Anyone who is not 100% behind your wedding should not be on the guest list.
  2. Old Boyfriends or Girlfriends: Digging up old flings just distracts everyone from the celebration at hand.
  3. Problematic Employees: Nobody likes a gossiper in the office. Only invite co-workers that you’re social with outside of work.
  4. Uncontrollable Friends: These are people who cannot manage alcohol intake and become disruptive).
  5. “Revenge Plus-Ones”: These are +1 guests that attendees bring along to spite the bride and groom, or another guest. You can prevent this from occurring by now allowing guests to have a +1 date.

Always Stick to Your Decision

If you choose to uninvite any relatives, parents may express some anger due to perceived family slights, or relatives may gossip about who is and who isn’t invited to your wedding. But couples need to remember that they get to call all the shots at their wedding. If you encounter any unwanted criticism, politely remind them that you and your partner are paying for the wedding, not them.

Final Thoughts on Uninviting Estranged Relatives

As always, you can’t control other people or their behavior. You can only control and take responsibility for your reaction. Sometimes, you just must bite the bullet and revoke a wedding invitation. So, if not inviting family members feels like the best solution for a toxic situation, then stick to your guns.

Need help planning your upcoming wedding? With two beautiful venues – The Manor and Pleasantdale Chateau – the wedding planning team at Knowles Hospitality can deliver a once-in-a-lifetime celebration. Give our wedding experts a call today, and let’s start the planning process!

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